Things I find Myself Doing Now I Don't Have A Job #2

As cliched as it sounds, I spent my afternoon playing computer games. Under the guise of looking after my poorly, 4 year old nephew Danny, I learned to play on the X-Box. Danny was a patient, if slightly mocking teacher 'Press X 'Chelle... X... X! Oh, I'll do it...' 'Get out of the way 'Chelle, or I will push you off', and I enjoyed myself immensely. I think I might go back for another go tomorrow, even Danny telling his brothers when they returned from school, 'Michelle is actually rubbish' hasn't put me off.

What Shall I do Today?

I woke up this morning, naturally, no alarm needed, with nothing to do. 

There are chores I could do, there always are, but apart from a netball match at 8pm, I have no commitments, no plans and no ties.

My immediate thought was how on earth will I occupy my day? And tomorrow and the day after? 

My next thought was 'stop'! This void is important, I mustn't fall into the trap of filling time with tasks in a misguided way of making myself feel productive. 

Instead, I need to use this space constructively and channel my boredom. This is a prime opportunity to think about what I would really like to do with my time and whether once I've worked this out, it is something I can earn a living doing. 

I don't know if I will come up with any answers but today I am going to try give my buried thoughts and dreams a rare chance to float to the surface. 

Things are not always what they seem.

I watched a video today of someone completing an online CrossFit competition. A video taken by friends of the competitor for the purposes of both validating their score and for them to see their performance, view their technique and learn what they need to change to improve. In the video was a composed women, going through a routine of exercises, looking calm and in control. 

That person was me. But I couldn't reconcile what I saw on the outside, in that video, with how I felt inside. Inside it was a whole different picture - there was nerves, concern about hurting myself, self doubt, worries about embarrassing myself, fear of failing, in public, on film. It just goes to show that just because someone looks OK on the outside, doesn't mean they're always OK on the inside. And vice versa...

In December 2011 I went on a road trip to California, starting in San Francisco and ending in San Diego. As you can imagine, there were many highlights to this trip which I won't go into now, because I want to share a particular moment. 

Erik has been to San Diego many times and he is a fan. As such, he was keen to show me all the cool places - the bars in the gas lamp district, the best burgers at Nicky Rottens and the laid back deck bar selling pitchers of beer and mahi-mahi sandwiches on Pacific Beach, where everyone gathers to watch the sunset. He had often mentioned 'Slomo Man', an old dude who rollerbladed along the boardwalk in slow motion, and this was a sight I was keen to see. 

As we were walking along the beach, about an hour before sunset, in the direction of the bar, Lahainas, I spotted a movement up ahead. Was this him? Yes! There he was, in all his slow motion glory, arabesquing along, arms spread, a huge, almost maniacal grin on his face. I was so happy to have seen him. But it was a passing fancy, a momentary quirk, an amusement.

Or perhaps not, because I came home and told my nephews about 'Slomo Man' and he caught their imagination too.

Then, the other day, over 3.5 years later, I found myself thinking about Slomo Man again, wondering if he is still doing his thing. So I googled him. What a joy! It turns out that Slomo Man, contrary to what initial perceptions have you think - that he is a bit of a nutter, a dropout, has taken too many drugs, is actually a former neurologist. What a perfect contradiction of perception and reality. To see him in action, watch this film, it is only 16 mins long and it is really rather lovely. 

http://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000002796999/slomo.html?action=click&contentCollection=opinion&module=lede&region=caption&pgtype=article

Pros and Cons of Travelling Solo

I've just realised I've been back over a week and time is already racing by again at real-world pace.  I've mainly spent the last week working, helping out at some of the late-summer events as part of the team for Prestige Events, and it has been great fun. It has helped me to top up my coffers as well, never a bad thing.

But I don't want to rush off into Autumn without a last little look back at my travels. For anyone thinking about doing the same thing, or who likes the idea of travelling alone, the reality of it is really achievable. Honestly.

I'd already had chance to overcome what I had previously perceived to be the worst bit of solo travel, dining in public alone, through lots of work trips in my old life. But armed with a book or a phone, and a little bit of bravado, you can keep yourself occupied until you feel less uncomfortable, whereupon you can start to embrace it. After that, the rest of it is just moving around, sleeping and looking at stuff, all things we can perfectly well do on our own.

Pros

- You can go where you like, eat what you like and do what you like, when you want to. You are completely responsible for your own destiny.

- You can get really hot and sweaty and it doesn't matter because nobody knows you.

- You can wear no make-up and it doesn't matter because nobody knows you.

- You can spread your stuff all over the place without having to consider anyone else.

- Writing is easier - when you're alone you have more time in your own head to reflect and process observations, thoughts and feelings.

Cons

- When things don't go to plan, you have nobody to lean on, or laugh about it with. You have to draw everything from yourself, however this is also a pro, because you learn to believe in yourself and what you're capable of.

- There is nobody to share the good stuff with, in the immediate, but writing a blog is a great outlet.

- Little to no conversation, especially when the majority of people around speak a different language.

- You have to be a contortionist to be able to put sun cream on your own back. 

- You miss out on the night life, it's no fun and too risky alone.

I have deliberately left out safety and security from this list, because nothing bad happened to me. I was sensible about how I stored my cash and valuables, I was mindful about who was around me and I was cautious about being out after dark, but I didn't feel any less secure, anywhere, than when I walk along a familiar street in Hereford. 

Overall, the cons are nowhere near enough to prevent me travelling alone again. I know that if I fancy going somewhere, or seeing something, and nobody I know is free or keen, I can just go and do it. And that feels very liberating.

Photo Credit: Angela Service

Model: Megan Moore